Critic's Review
I said I wasn't going to review this "restaurant", but I saw that they were open for lunch and figured I might be able to get to try something at a better price. I was wrong.
I was welcomed with a pseudo American Flag at the entrance; American Flags have 50 stars; anything else is a mockery. I arrived at exactly 2pm and walked into a completely empty restaurant. Well, except for the 2 employees. There's a hostess in the middle, and a lounge area to the left.
On a nice day in the low 80s, I thought that it might be nice to sit "dockside". Except that the dockside tables are on the other side of the road. I was concerned that service would be clunky, or that my server would be hit by a car while trying to deliver my food. So I opted to sit in the patio.
I ordered an iced tea and took a menu; tea was delivered without a spoon or sweeteners. I asked for the latter.
I was kind of appalled and surprised that they don't have a lunch menu. The same overpriced dinner menu that I'd rejected previously as something I wanted to try. On their website they mention "lunch specials"; my server rattled off a few things: chips with guacamole, some sort of fritter, soup; no entrees, all without prices. Great.
You know there's a problem when you're in a restaurant and you can't decide between $11 wings and $11 cheeseburger. The menu is different from the one they have on their web site; they've dropped the .95 and rounded the numbers. They've also actually raised their already silly prices: $29 for snapper at lunch. They've added a lobster roll for $20. Am I in South Beach? I ordered a cheeseburger, medium rare with a side salad with blue cheese. "Are Fries OK with that?", she queried. "Are they included", I asked. "You get a side". "I said I wanted a side salad". "Oh, OK". Yeah.
I really wanted to leave; I was thinking to myself that this place has no chance of getting people here for lunch with this menu and these prices. There was very low music playing: All Bob Marley all the time. They're trying to create a tropical ambiance. Unfortunately the constant road noise ruins everything; McNab road is kind of a main road.
I wanted to get a shot of the lounge, so I went to the bathroom while waiting for the burger. The burger was just coming out as I got inside, so I knew it would be waiting when I got back.
When I sat down, I almost snickered, as the burger and salad was served with no utensils. I flagged her down and asked for a roll-up. Then I needed salt and pepper; flagged her down again. Like I was the first customer they ever served. How can you serve the only person sitting in a restaurant and not notice that there's no roll-up on the table?
The menu they have on their website says this comes with a brioche roll and fries; now it comes with a kaiser roll and a choice of side. I'm sure the salad was better than fries or their cole slaw. A pickle spear was included as well.
The burger was cooked correctly medium rare, but for some reason it seemed dry. Maybe they're using too lean meat; I usually like kaiser rolls but I ended up eating this with a knife and a fork; it may have been a day or 2 old. I'd say this was 5 or 6 ounces. A nice, juicy burger might have saved the day, but this didn't do it. No seasonings. I did use some of the red onions to improve the salad.
$3 for iced tea, because well, this is a very high end restaurant.
As I was cashing out, a young couple sat down behind me and I heard the dude saying that he was only in town for 2 days. I was thinking: 2 days in Fort Lauderdale and you come HERE for lunch?
Conclusion
I can spot a restaurant that has no chance a mile away, and I spotted this one right off. They've confirmed their lack of understanding of everything by opening for lunch with a menu that couldn't even compete in a good neighborhood. If I want to pay these prices, I could go to Kaluz or Shooters or Coconuts; why would I want to come here?
Fatal error: Uncaught Error: Call to a member function getUser() on null in /usr/local/www/classes/comments-class.php:267 Stack trace: #0 /usr/local/www/classes/comments-class.php(75): threadedComments->formatComment(Object(stdClass)) #1 /usr/local/www/classes/comments-class.php(77): threadedComments->printParent(Array, 1) #2 /usr/local/www/classes/comments-class.php(100): threadedComments->printParent(Array) #3 /usr/local/www/insideftl/comments.php(74): threadedComments->printComments(Array) #4 /usr/local/www/insideftl/single-post.php(208): require_once('/usr/local/www/...') #5 /usr/local/www/insideftl/post.php(22): include('/usr/local/www/...') #6 /usr/local/www/insideftl/index.php(166): include('/usr/local/www/...') #7 {main} thrown in /usr/local/www/classes/comments-class.php on line 267