Critic's Review
I saw this place when I went to the Rusty Hook last week; they're open until 4pm and serve breakfast all day, so I thought I'd try it out. They had a pretty good crowd last Saturday, so maybe someone knew something?
Parking is confusing at least. There's a free lot behind the strip of stores, but it's not clear who its for. There are "Tow Away Zone" signs everywhere, and no rear entrances to the stores. Pretty poorly thought out for sure. I ended up finding a pay spot on the road a short distance from the cafe.
One thing that I thought was interesting was that the official name of the place is "The Beach Grille" with an 'e'; it's on the license info and on their web site and on the menu, yet the sign on the front of the store doesn't have an 'e'. Oops. Hope they got a deal.
The place is a little coffee shop; maybe a luncheonette. There's a sign "Seat Yourself", so I did. There are a bunch of menus on the ledge as you walk in, so I grabbed one of those.
After sitting there for a few minutes, one of the 3 ladies in black who seemed to work the place ask If I'd ordered yet. "No", I replied. She then told me that I'd have to order at the register. Ok, so what do YOU do? I went to the register and there was a lady standing about 3 feet behind it. I started to tell her what I wanted and she said "I'm just a cook, I can't take your order". Great, so maybe one of the 4 people milling around back there can help? Finally a person who could help me took my order, and my CC as paying in advance is part of the deal also. There's a tip line on the check, which I obviously set to $0. I walked back to my table, and a lady yells "Your coffee is on the counter". A styrofoam cup is on the counter; they have milk, creamers and sweeteners on the end of the counter, for your convenience.
I gather my stuff and head back to my table, practically snickering to myself. What IS this place?
While waiting, I enjoyed the view. Soon after taking this a vagrant sat down at the table near the window and the lady next door brought him some coffee, which was nice of her.
Barry White and Elton John played lightly. Finally I saw them put a plate on the counter under the "Pick Up" sign. A lady grabbed the plate and put it in front of me without a word. The transaction was officially complete.
Plastic plate; but wait, do I have utensils? Ah, in the paper, there's plasticware. Very nice. Salt and Pepper. Check. Looks like I'm all set to chow down.
This was reminding me of Beach Bunnies.
Obviously the "cook" doesn't know much about over easy eggs. The sausage was an odd patty; I didn't like them. Way too much sage and too much sodium. The toast was ok but it was the wheat kind of rye bread; the potatoes needed salt and pepper. I needed more napkins; there are no napkins on the table, there's one dispenser for the entire restaurant.
I left most of the sausage and some of the potatoes. Coming here was a mistake.
My entire time in the restaurant, not one person asked if everything was ok or if I had everything I needed or if I wanted a coffee refill; maybe there are no refills? When I finished eating, I got up and left, without a word exchanged.
Conclusion
As restaurants concepts go, this is one of the worst I've ever encountered. The whole thing seems stupid. I did save on the tip (am I supposed to tip someone to move a plate 15 feet and offers 0 other services?), but at $10.91 for bad food on a plastic plate, it's not a good value any way you slice it. You get better food with service on real plates for less at Mom's.
One of the worse experiences in recent memory. I don't just go out to eat; service is part of the eating out experience. But there is no service at the Beach Grill. It's actually insulting with 3 "servers" running around but none of them willing to serve. I'm not sure what the angle is; are people really leaving full tips for this minimal service? Why encourage this ridiculous format?
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