Critic's Review
I've been to Sicilian Oven in Lighthouse Point a couple of times, so I wasn't excited about trying this location now that they've become a chain. But it's pretty slow in July in Fort Lauderdale, and I was in the area.
First, if you're an actual Italian craving Sicilian specialties and you think you now have an option, think again. This is a South Florida pizzeria.
This part of town has those highly annoying parking lots where the spots on one side are free parking and the spots closest to the venue have meters. And of course all of the free spots are taken and there are a million paid spots available. Another $2 for lunch isn't the end of the world, but there's no reason to have metered parking here. The nearest free spot was too far to walk in 90 degree heat, so I pulled into a metered spot and listened to the banter about the Mike and the Maddog ESPN show on the radio. I saw some backup lights go on behind me and when they left I grabbed the spot. It's a matter of principle.
The 2 year project to convert the space previously occupied by Bobby Van's, Sunfish Grill and Michelle's is a commentary on how difficult it is for businesses to open in Fort Lauderdale. The first permit was filed in June 2015; $6500 in fees and 2 years later, we have an opening.
They ended up completely gutting the place; I'm not sure that was the original plan. I can't say that the lattice sign appeals to me; lattice is what you use to cover something up when you're too cheap to fix it. They have an interesting outdoor space but they'd have trouble convincing me that the AC they've put in will keep me cool in the dead of summer.
Inside is a big rectangular room with an open kitchen, because all modern restaurants have open kitchens. There are big TVs in the far corners of the room as well as behind the bar. It's certainly not going to be a sport bar.
The big deal with this place is that they have a full bar, which is achieved in Florida by squeezing 150 seats into a space that should have 100 seats. They tout "Authentic Wood Fired Pizza"; I'm not sure if they mean that the wood is authentic or the Pizza. Is there fake wood fired pizza?
A huge, very cool metallic fan compliments the design nicely.
They had way too many employees for the 3 customers at 2:30; the hostess showed me to a table. No booths in the place; just wood tables lined up like bunks in a barracks. 2 menus were placed in front of me with no explanations.
The menu is wholly uninspiring. The lunch menu claims that "All Lunches come with a Family Style Garden Salad"; family style usually means "Big". So then why is a garden Salad $7? Who would order a $7 salad when for $2 more you can get an entree? Do the pizzas and wings come with salad too? The $8 lunch has morphed into a $10 lunch; now beyond the pricing of the neighborhood pizzeria. I thought about the escarole soup, but at $8 I wouldn't be able to get anything else with it. No cups of soup available.
I didn't want a sandwich, and none of the lunch choices appealed to me. I asked about the "Cervellata" sausage, since they made up the name, but it didn't sound like something I'd be willing to take a chance on. Chevelet is parsley and cheese, but this was something else. So I just went with the "Firecracker Calamari", hoping for something like you get at the Capital Grille.
Iced tea was delivered with lemon slivers; another place that doesn't understand that lemon in iced tea is not a garnish.
I could barely hear a Donna Summer tune playing in the distance; the sound system in the main room is non-existent. They seem to have speakers in the outside patio, but inside it sounds like someone has a transistor radio in the kitchen. The room is loud as I could clearly hear a conversation between employees at the bar; with tables so close together I wouldn't want to eat in this place when it was crowded.
The food came out in 5 minutes; you can imagine my disappointment.
Regular fried calamari with tomato sauce that they threw in some hot peppers. Great. I could get this at Bru's Room. They told me that this is normally served on a "bed" of sauce, which means that they spread the sauce on the plate and throw the squid on top. I asked for the sauce on the side.
The calamari itself was just dredged and fried; nothing "firecracker" about it. Why not spice up the batter or toss with some peppers? This is sports bar food.
The sauce was just tomato sauce with pepper flakes thrown in, as well as some big pepper slices that just got in the way of dipping. No culinary skill required for this.
Underneath the fried cephalopods was a thin, hard, inedible slice of garlic bread; I snapped it with my hands and determined it wasn't worth risking a tooth for.
Midway through my server was off her shift so she introduced a new server to finish the deal. The second server was awkward and probably quite inexperienced. I put my card on the table to expedite the checkout process and she put the check holder right on top of the card and walked away. Head shaking stuff.
$3 for an iced tea; funny how places all turn into the same place if they're open long enough.
Conclusion
Years ago, Anthony Bruno had an idea for restaurant with a small, simplified menu and Pizza made in a coal fired oven. I suspect that these folks thought they could do better with Wood, and they opened a place in Lighthouse Point, far enough from any Anthony's to have to compete directly. The idea is a good one, however the product simply isn't appealing enough to gain my interest.
Everything that's good about Anthony's is missing here; the interesting signature dishes, the good music and the well positioned TVs. The menu is a collection of pedestrian pizzeria offerings with a spattering of "Sicilian" dishes, none of which is emphasized in a way to suggest that the restaurant is different than any other pizza joint. Sicily is an island; yet there's no fish on the menu other than the ubiquitous shrimp and calamari; does the average Floridian know what Pasta Norma is? Would I trust the Caponata here to be more than eggplant soaked in some bad marinade? How about some Authentic Sfincione? Is that the "Square Pizza"? Where is the Panelle? The saffron, mint and fennel? The Pasta con le Sarde? Too complex for Florida? How are tomatoes, basil and garlic "Sicilian" Bruschetta? Are the "Rice Balls" made with saffron rice? This is a fraudulent Sicilian menu.
The Truth is that Sicilian food isn't all that appealing, particularly to the pulled pork, taco-eating South Floridian crowd. Not that it matters, as this is just a fancy pizzeria trying to be another Anthony's. I'm not sure if it was conceived as a chain restaurant; but that's what it's become.
Pre-Opening Musings
20 months later, the construction continues. They could have bought Santa Lucia twice for what this is costing them. A previous tenant told me that this building was a nightmare when they were leasing it. I guess they decided to rip it and do it over.
Sicilian Oven is opening a location in the space previously occupied by Michele's. I wasn't all that impressed with the pizza I got in their lighthouse point location, but it's a lot better than Michele's. This space is somewhat cursed, but this seems like a pretty safe bet.
Perhaps the final nail in Santa Lucia's coffin.
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