Critic's Review
I said I'd never go to the Bonefish Grill again. I've been making fun of their "new menu"; ridiculous recipes that don't even look good in the staged photos. But then I got a $10 off "offer", with no strings attached. Ok, I thought, I can get a lobster roll for $6.95? It seemed worth a try.
It's right on the corner of Nob Hill and W Sunrise; I got a spot right out front. There were some cars, but it was pretty empty at 2pm. They have a specials board on the sidewalk with some unimpressive offerings with no prices. Another indication of everything that's wrong with the company. "Chilean Sea Bass" is the classic bad restaurant trick (it's not sea bas or anything related), and it just shouldn't be served by a real seafood restaurant.
They have a bunch of booths in the bar area, and there were just a couple of people at the bar, so I agreed to sit there.
Odd lighting like at J Alexander's. A server came over to take my beverage order. While I was waiting I noticed that they didn't have a lobster roll on the menu. Fantastic. They don't have a lunch menu on the web site, but a lobster roll had to be on the lunch menu, right?
No problem getting lots of lemon.
The server asks "Have you decided yet?". No mention of the specials on the sidewalk or the fish of the day or the soup of the day. I mention that I was going to order the lobster roll but it's not on the menu. "Oh, it's on the dinner menu, let me see if they can make it for you". Really? A lobster roll is on the dinner menu but not on the lunch menu? What dimension am I in today?
She's gone quite a while; meanwhile I realize that I don't know what kind of fish they're using in the fish sandwich or the grilled fish or the fish and chips. I do notice that the tables are covered in paper, which is pretty low end to me. Whatever they can do to save on laundry.
The dining room has a couple of tables including a birthday party. I think it says a lot about the quality of restaurants in Plantation if someone is going to Bonefish Grill on their birthday.
So my server comes back and tells me that they can make the lobster roll; not sure why it took 10 minutes to find out. "Great, I'll have the lobster roll", which saved me from having to ask 9 questions about the menu.
Music is contemporary: Taylor Swift, Kate Earl. "Time Waits".
When they put the food in front of me I practically went into an all out panic.
What is this? Is this a joke? Where are the big chunks of claw meat like in the advertisement? Day old fries and a thimble of cole slaw? The horror continued as I took a bite. Vinegar. Are you kidding? Lobster roll is lobster, mayo, celery on a buttered roll. How can you mess that up? Overreach or incompetence? This was literally awful, like bad seafood salad on a roll. No butter on the roll either. Way to make an abortion out of a simple sandwich, guys.
All scraps of lobster meat, if it was lobster at all. Once you marinate it in vinegary dressing you really can't tell if it's lobster or not. Because it no longer tastes like lobster.
The "cole slaw" demonstrates the same culinary overreach that has plagued this place since day 1; broccoli florets in the slaw? It wasn't bad, but it was only 2 forkfuls.
The fries were cold and obviously fried many hours in advance of my arrival. Cold potatoes have no value.
So my server brought me another iced tea and scampered off. At this point I was just eating the seafood salad so I was just about done. There was now 1 group in the dining room and no other people in the bar area. So I'm done and waiting to get my check, but there's not a sole to be found.
To be fair, the ketchup was pretty good.
Finally the host/busser clears the table next to mine where the people left 10 minutes earlier, and I ask him to tell my server that I want my check. I have the $10 coupon I have to show them also, so I have it ready on my phone. A runner comes out with the check and drops it on the table; I show him the offer and he says he'll take care of it. Another 5 minutes, and my regular server drops the check at the table. $21. They didn't take off the $10. So now I'm waiting for her to return, and nothing. I'm holding up my phone with the offer and apparently the manager sees it (he's sitting at a high top behind me), and he comes over and asks "you have a coupon?, I'll take care of it". So he goes into the back. Why are they torturing me?
Finally I get the bill and I'm out. A waste of gas and $12.
Conclusion
Bonefish grill has been spiraling out of control for years; they seem to be tripling down on their bang-bang shrimp, which really illustrates how far they've fallen from their tagline which touts "fresh wood-grilled fish". Any suspicion I had that it was just the Fort Lauderdale location can be dismissed; Bonefish grill is just plain awful.
I think the fact that they don't have a lobster roll on their lunch menu but they do have it on the dinner menu shows how very misguided this company is. The only reason to make lobster into a vinegary salad is to preserve it; which means that it's not fresh.
From their current advertising, Bonefish Grill seems to call themselves a "casual dining seafood restaurant", in the vein of Red Lobster. Red Lobster is vastly better than this, which isn't saying much.
Add to that incompetent and indifferent service, and you have a total disaster. I wouldn't pay $6.95 for what I got today again. It's so not worth the gas at any price.