The Burger Freak

Critic's Review

I'd read a couple of puffy blog posts on this place, and I was surprised that I hadn't heard of it. The reason is that this place is just a re-branding of Joe Knows Lunch; same owners, same space; just a Fictitious Name Filing. They've moved Joe Knows Lunch to another location.

The place itself is a pizza take-out configuration, with 2 tables and 6 seats total. With only a handful of people, it seems in chaos. The decor is foil-wrapped ceiling tiles and circus themed wallpaper. The hours on the door say that they close at 2pm, but they were open at 2:15. Joe Knows Lunch used to close at 2pm. They're open till 2:30 now.

Burger Freak Interior

They have a chinese style menu where you pick you burger, your bun, your free toppings and your extra pay-for toppings. They describe the burgers as "Angus Beef" which is the same as saying "Hamburger". I asked for the Brioche Kaiser bun, but they were out. "We only have Wheat", the counter girl said, "you should have come earlier". How about having enough for a full day's business? I asked for lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, ketchup, mustard and cheddar cheese.

There were 4 burgers ahead of me, but it still shouldn't take 20 minutes to make a burger. I don't think they even started making it until the others came out. There was nowhere to sit, so I got to stand and wait.

When I opened the burger, I pulled off the top to see what looked like one of those cookie-cutter patties you buy in a big box in the freezer section.

Burger Freak Beef Burger with Wheat Kaiser Bun

The burger was completely unseasoned with no flavor. Making matters worse was that it was loaded with mustard. They'd slathered mustard on both sides of the bun, and given a little squirt of ketchup on top. Not exactly the balance I was hoping for. They didn't give enough cheese for the 98 cents I paid. When I say that this burger was tasteless I mean it literally.

Now take a look at the burgers on their website and tell me if this looks like a similar product? It seems pretty deceptive to me.

With Five Guys around the corner I can't think of a single reason to get your beef burger in this place. This was easily the worst burger I've had in recent memory. There's no reason to waste gas to go out of your way to come to a dump to get a bad burger.