Gyro Express

Critic's Review

This place was a long time coming; you wonder why a place that needs a spit and a grill would buy a 30 year old BBQ; this is the kind of venue that needs a small window and a couple of tables. Gyros are too messy to eat in.

They have electronic menus because they expect to change prices often on their small menu, which includes just the basics.

Greek Express Order Counter

They have a "Gyro" and a "Gyro Express" Pita; the difference is that they stuff french fries into the Gyro Express, South American style. Hard pass on that. I ordered a Gyro pita, sauce on the side.

Visions of the old Greek Express run by actual Greeks don't flow here; this place features a Russian counter girl and Spanish speaking kitchen workers.

Greek Express Kitchen

Inside the place is spread out and too big; this is take out food.

Greek Express Interior

The food took 9 minutes. One stop on the way home; the food was luke warm by the time I unwrapped it.

Greek Express Gyro Pita Take Out

They gave me fries on the side, which helps to justify the $7.99 price (their original menu touted $6 Gyros). Limp fries have no value. I had no interest in re-heating them. Notice the utensils; 1 tiny napkin for this big sandwich. You need 3 full size paper towels with this; trust me.

First things first, I taste the sauce.

Greek Express Incompetent Tzatziki

No. This is not Tzatziki. This is greek yogurt with some cucumber strips in it. This alone makes the entire meal a complete failure; this is why I order the sauce on the side; putting this on the Gyro would ruin the sandwich. Luckily I still had some of my own Tzatziki that I made for the ALDI Gyro kit, so i could just throw this junk out.

Close up, I saw soggy lettuce, yellow onions (too sharp) and unripe tomatoes. And the meat was too well done. Were they trained with the "How to Ruin a Gyro" video?

Greek Express Gyro Close up

There's a debate to be had about lettuce on a Gyro, but lettuce should NEVER be part of hot take out food. Lettuce doesn't cook well; it just makes a soggy mess out of the food by the time it's eaten. I couldn't eat this. I'd have to try to salvage this.

I decided to weigh the meat: 5 3/4 ounces. Gyro meat should be neatly sliced from the spit; this looked like it was chopped off with a hatchet. And that's a lot of meat for a 7" pita. 4 ounces is about right for thin people; I put the rest in the fridge for my next ALDI Gyro.

Greek Express Gyro Pita Mean

There was nothing here I wanted to eat. What a mess. This picture shows that this Gyro is fast food and not an authentic Greek Pita.

Greek Express Gyro Pita Ingredients

Ripe tomatos and red onions people. And really good, garlicky tzatziki.

Greek Express Gyro Salvaged

And wow, this was great. This gyro meat is so much better than the store bought stuff.

Greek Express Gyro Reconstructed - Partially Enjoyed

Now if I could only get a shop to make it right.

Conclusion

The bottom line here is that these people have an idea but have no idea how to execute it. You won't have my Tzatziki sauce in your fridge, so you can''t enjoy this sandwich the way I did. Out of the box, this is incompetent fast food. And it's a darn shame; because the Pita was excellent and the meat was delicious; so they have the base ingredients for a really good sandwich. Maybe they'll figure it out; but I highly doubt they will listen.

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This place is up for sale already; advertised as a "2nd Generation Business" even though they've only been open a few months. Typical Fort Lauderdale nonsense.

2 years ago