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Last Update: Jun 26th, 2017
Coconuts Fort Lauderdale

Coconuts

429 Seabreeze Blvd
Fort Lauderdale FL, 33316
(954) 525-2421
Overall Rating
2.8
Food
Service
Ambiance
Value
Last Review
10/27/2015

Details

Hours: M-Sun 11:30 - 10pm
Attire: Casual
Parking: Complimentary Valet, Street Metered
CC: Yes
Alcohol: Full Bar
Prices: Expensive
Outside Dining: Yes
Reservations: Yes

Pros

Some Excellent Dishes
Waterfront Location
"Free" Valet Parking

Cons

Way Overpriced
Cramped Indoor Space
Small Bar Area
No Lunch Menu
Hard Sell is Annoying

Critic's Review

It's getting to be that time of year when eating lunch outside is becoming feasible, so I thought I'd head down to Coconuts. I had some questions I needed answered, and I hadn't had Elliot's Caribbean Jambalaya in a while.

They have a free valet, but you have to tip the guy more than it costs to park across the street, so I always opt for self parking. I was bringing the big camera inside with me, but I still don't like the kind of people who work as valets driving my car.

Two guys who parked just before me almost put money into the bicycle rental by mistake; luckily they realized that $4.99 for 30 minutes was too outrageous for parking, even parking by the beach. Did you know that it costs $10/hr to rent an ugly bike?

Parking is $1.25/hr; I put in $1.50 so I was saving 50 cents over a $2 valet tip.

Parking Meter by the Beach

The lot was pretty empty. I liked it a lot better when it was self-park. You could park right next to the place off season. There's just no reason to have a valet during the day off-season.

Coconuts Parking Lot

The inside space here is a no go, and I don't really like sitting on the upper deck either.

Coconuts Deck

The bar area here is small and uncomfortable; you don't come here to watch a game either.

Coconuts Bar Area

The lower deck offers "views" of the intracoastal; a view of the marina at least. I'm completely over the waterfront thing; once you've been down here awhile it's just part of the scenery. Eating on the water is a big deal when you live inland and only see it once in a while.

Coconuts Water View

They have a dock with Tarpon viewing, an ugly fish that for some reason is popular with tourists. I don't think that the dude feeding them appreciated me taking his picture, but employees don't get their faces blurred; sorry dude.

Feeding the Tarpons at Coconuts

Birds are part of the experience when you dine on the waterfront; they're quite comfortable jumping onto the tables and joining you for your meal.

Coconuts Lower Deck

A server came over and started the hard sell, asking if I wanted to start with an appetizer. Wolf's restaurants have become really bad about that; she also pushed the 1/2 off wine and offered to cork it for me so I could take it home. If you're only going to drink 1/2 bottle of wine, why is a half price bottle an attractive deal? So I can take $2 worth of wine home?

I actually had trouble ordering an ice tea with all the selling. I know that they have lots of specials; she didn't volunteer those. Of course they don't tell you the prices, so I just let her talk. I told her I needed a minute, and she brought me water and the iced tea.

Coconuts Beverage Service

When she came back she recommended the crab cakes as an appetizer; just $27. I had to keep myself from chuckling. Prices are up 10% since my last visit; there's no lunch menu here; what used to be overpriced is now absurd. $21 for Jambalaya. Ridiculous. They also have a specialty drink menu on the table with no prices. Yeah right.

I just ordered the Jambalaya; "Would you like a side salad with that". No, Enough with the hard sell. It's annoying.

The experience today was dominated by a crane making an unbelievable amount of noise smashing pipes together or something. The noise was prolific for my entire time here.

Crane Next Door to Coconuts

While I was waiting i got the scoop on why these "Be Nice" restaurants are so expensive. Employees at all of the restaurants can eat at any of the 5 restaurants for 1/2 price. So when you go into Top Hat and you get your $14 pastrami sandwich and $10 egg sandwich, realize that all of the people with their Be Nice tee shirts are paying half that price. It also explains the 100s of reviews that never mention how overpriced these places are. At half the price, it's not bad.

The food came out pretty quickly, 15 minutes.

Coconuts Jambalaya

Not a bad portion. A $14 dish that you'd expect to pay $16 for in Fort Lauderdale that costs $21. I've tried a lot of things in this restaurant chain and this is the only thing that I really like. It has Caribbean spices rather than the standard cajun, and they have the recipe down.

Coconut's Jambalaya

I initially thought that they were cutting down on the chicken and shrimp, but after digging into the dish I found an ample amount of food.

Coconuts Jambalaya

When she delivered the bill, I noticed they no longer add the 18% gratuity; the new law has had an effect. This time it save me some money; $4 is enough tip to deliver an iced tea and 1 dish to a table for lunch. The problem with percentages is that 20% of too much is too much.

Coconuts Bill - No More Forced Gratuity

Conclusion

I used to like coming to Coconuts, but it's really become an unpleasant experience. The crane noise ruined it today, but when you add up the forced valet, the high prices and the hard selling, I don't think I'll be here again, except maybe for happy hour.

Note that the menu on their website is old; we have the current menu here with the even higher prices.

Review 9/6/13

Coconuts Fort Lauderdale

Every once in a while I think about Coconuts; I always seem to go here when it's 90-something, as if I forgot that their A/C isn't the best. There were a bunch of guys at the front door at a table that didn't seem like a hostess stand, so I wandered in and found myself standing on the patio; I asked a random server if I could just sit anywhere and he waved me in an got me a menu.

The patio is covered and there's some attempt at air conditioning, but it doesn't do the job very well. 2 tables that were seated after me asked to move inside because it was too hot. There's no ashtrays on the tables so it's not clear if smoking is allowed; some bozo was smoking an E-Cig; don't people know how stupid those things look?

The best thing about Coconuts is the view. They've repaired much of the decking which used to be pretty weathered and ratty.

Coconuts View

Every time I don't order the Jambalaya I wished I did, but I've been thinking about lobster rolls lately, so I ordered that. It took my server a loooong time to come back after delivering the iced tea. There's a lot of waiting at Coconuts.

Coconuts Iced Tea and Menu

The music here sucks wind; Katy Perry, Timomatic, The Ready Set. It all sound the same to me. The roll came out fairly quickly.

Coconut's Lobster Roll with Cole Slaw

It was a decent roll, not overstuffed. The one criticism was that it lacked butter; some places pour butter over the roll, but in the very least the roll should be heavily buttered. This one was just lightly toasted. The cole slaw was certainly an ample portion; I'd call it more of a cabbage salad; it had a yellowish dressing that was unusual. Clearly freshly made and better than most.

Service is kind of funny; on whole I don't like it. My server was way too enthusiastic; trying to steer me to particular items on the menu and telling me how good things were. And I knocked over my second iced tea, dumping half of it, and no one ever came over to wipe the water from the table. One guy did hand me a rag; I guess it was my problem.

3 stars for ambiance; the view is great but they have a bad bar, one impossible to watch TV and the inside is kind of uncomfortable in general. Some of the chairs outside are as old as the sea as well.

As in all of Wolf's restaurants, prices here are about $2 too high on everything. 18% gratuity included, which saved me 70 cents since I would have left more if I was deciding how much they should get. It's probably why they don't bother to wipe your table if you spill something, and why it takes so long to get your bill when you're ready to leave.

All in all, the lobster roll was a nice lunch, but I should have gotten the Jambalaya!

Review 1/6/12

Coconuts

Coconuts used to be the only place where you could self-park for free left at the beach; but the've recently put in a valet. It's still free to park for the restaurant, but you'll have to tip the attendant. I don't like to have to clean out all of my valuables before I go to lunch, so I parked in the beach lot and walked over.

Coconuts is getting a makeover; they've taken over the place next door and they're opening an Oyster Bar. It's really one big place; I guess they're opening up a new place in case it doesn't work out and they can fold it without losing Coconuts.

There's a lot of things wrong with coconuts, and now we can add forced valet. The deck is poorly maintained. They add 18% gratuity to the bill. The bar is a bit uncomfortable. They don't tell you the prices on the specials. The service generally sucks wind. But the food is good.

Coconuts Patio

I like to sit outside on the dockside deck, where the view this time of year is nice. But it's not as nice as the view on the other side of Las Olas.

View From Coconuts

One of my favorite dishes in Fort Lauderdale is the Jambalaya. It's a caribbean version with island spices; not the usual New Orlean Cajun fare. It's very spicy and loaded with chicken, shrimp and andouille sausage.

Coconuts Jambalaya

This, my friends, is good stuff. Another winner on the menu are the gilled Jerk Wings. These are great with a beer for an after beach snack.

Coconut's Jerk Wings

They're served with a mild ranch that compliments them perfectly. Don't miss a chance to try them.

On another visit, I tried the Blue Crab Scoobies, an appetizer special for $15.

Coconut's Blue Crab Scoobies

The scoobies came with a garlicky chili oil that was just great with the crab and the bread. I wasn't sure exactly how to eat these; I had to ask for an oyster fork; but this was pretty much finger food. It was good but I don't think I'd pay $15 for it again.

Coconuts is a little bit of old Florida, which isn't always good. But I find myself coming back for the food more often than many other places.

Review 6/21/2011

Coconuts in June 2011

Comment Policy Add Comment
Anthony
Reply
Coconuts was always a rip off! If it wasn’t on the water it would have been out of business in the first year!
Elliott greedy no can’t be! 😁
Let’s go Brandon
Mike
Reply
This place has been going down fast in the recent months. Everything is always broken and the staff all seem to hate working there. It took an hour just to pay our tab as we were trying to find somewhere to watch the Dolphins game as they won't play sports on their new tiny TV. The food was average.
M.E. DePalma
Reply
You should try the heirloom tomato salad with a crab cake.....totally great! It keeps me coming back.
Administrator
Reply
I don't pay $16 for 1 crab cake. Anywhere.

The jambalaya used to "keep me coming back" but @$22 I choose to go elsewhere. This place used to be good before Elliot got greedy. Plus his web site menu is 2 years old and I don't like the surprises.
Administrator
Reply
I forgot to mention; just $60 for stone crab claws, $30 for 1/2 pound.

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