Critic's Review
Bo's Beach is officially open in the space previously occupied by The Oasis. The property is owned by the City and Bo's Group offered them a lot of money for the lease so it was good-bye to the Oasis.
I try to avoid the beach in February and March, as traffic is a disaster. Today was no different. And the fact that the lot at A1A and Las Olas is under construction just makes everything worse. The beach parking lot was just about completely full, all the way to the Marriott. I found a spot about 200 yards away.
One good thing about the beach area is that I can bring the big camera and pretend to be a tourist.
The place is a big monstrosity; they've used just about every square inch of the property for a 2 story structure stuffed with 430 seats. They're very optimistic about the beach.
I walked in and asked for a table, indicating that I didn't want to sit at a bar. Looking at the seating downstairs, I opt'd to check out the upstairs; they directed me to the stairs; they have a separate hostess upstairs.
The upstairs didn't appeal to me; the bar was on the beach side and there were just a bunch of tables in the middle of the room; not very appealing. So I went back downstairs.
I saw a few booths available and talked my way into one of them. There aren't very many of them. There are a lot of high tops; the entire place is patio furniture with a blue theme.
Something different is that the napkins and condiments are on the outside of the booth, which seemed odd and wrong.
I moved them to the inside part of the booth. Can't complain about the view however.
My server was bubbly and friendly and she took my iced tea and fish and chips order while trying to push the "fish of the day" without disclosing the price.
Never order the fish of the day
"Good Vibrations" was playing as I arrived, but that was the only "beachy" song for the duration of my stay. Henri Purnell, Sam Feldt Feat. All garbage the rest of the way.
The south bar isn't any different than the north bar; just another bar with bad patio furniture.
My server brings out my iced tea after way too long; I have to hold back from laughing.
If you're a server and someone asks for extra lemon, do you think that 2 micro slivers is going to make them happy? I mean how cheap can you get?
A runner brought out the fish and chips a few minutes later.
Not your traditional offering. I was struck by the amount of tartar sauce given for the seemingly massive piece of fish. I asked for some extra anticipating I'd need more.
At first glance, it seemed that the fish was ok, but the fish and the batter seemed to be separate entities. And it was more like a hard crust than a light, delicate batter.
I tossed on some sauce and tried to eat it by hand but it was no use; the fish just slid out and the batter/crust was too hard.
The fish was soggy and overdone inside and the batter was simply no good; I ended up cutting out the fish to try to salvage some protein. Overdone, mushy fish is not what I was hoping for here.
The slaw was trash (who puts corn in a slaw?) and the fries were ok but they could have used another 20 seconds in the fryer.
While I was waiting to flag down my server a manager came by and asked how the fish and chips were and I told him; he seemed very concerned and said he'd pass on my criticism. I'm betting that if you order this a year from now it will be exactly the same; because this is how $12/hr line cooks make food. He didn't offer me anything nor did he notice my empty iced tea glass. You'd think a guy taking pictures with a $2000 camera would draw some special interest, but not at Bo's.
While my server was perky, cute and friendly, straw wrappers weren't removed from the table and I wasn't offered a refill for my $3 iced tea, even though I made a point to push my empty glass to the edge of the table. The iced tea cost her $1 on the tip.
Conclusion
The Bokamper's group has built another big restaurant in Fort Lauderdale with predictably bad food that's surprisingly uncomfortable. Imagine a restaurant comprised completely of bad patio furniture, and you have this place. While there are a lot of TVs, it'd hesitate to call it a sports bar; I can't see myself standing here to watch a game. I had the worst excuse for a salad I've ever had at their other location; and I think this may be the worst fish and chips I've ever had.
Bo's Beach provides the lowest level of service imaginable while nickel and dime-ing you on lemons and tartar sauce on a $23 lunch. Why aren't I surprised? The place is completely run by kids; All of the "managers" looked under 30. Their other restaurants have horrible service also, so this is part of their model, apparently.
As I was leaving the place I was trying to think of the circumstances that would compel me to come here again, and I couldn't think of any.
Another wholly predictably bad restaurant in Fort Lauderdale.
The Iced Tea / Extra Lemon thing is kind of a test. That fact that lemons are sliced like a garnish indicate that bean-counting is more important than service and providing customers with a good product. But if someone asks for extra in order for this to make it to my table it has to be an edict from ownership to nickel and dime customers.
How they offer refills also tells you something about the restaurants. Some places have a pitcher handy and they refill you before you're done. Other places hope you don't ask for one. How much does a glass of tea cost, 3 cents?