Critic's Review
Anthony's Clam House is now open; The manager of Umberto's decided that he could make this stuff too; so he opened a big restaurant next door.
This first thing to know is that the owner of the Anthony's chain; Anthony Bruno, is not involved with this restaurant. The owner's name is Walter Hernandez, so it seems they might be trying to create some confusion. They could have called it Vinny's or Paulie's or Antonio's, but they chose the same name as another place with 3 locations in Fort Lauderdale.
This place has been a sports bar, a German Brewhaus and something nobody was quite sure what it was; they've gutted the place and made 1 big room out of it.
This part of town has the anti-handicapped parking; there are free spots on the outer edge of the parking lot; to park closer you'll have to pay. It's really the dumbest thing on wheels.
You walk into the bar area; tables are in the back. They haven't allocated much of a waiting area, so it must be fun at peak times.
There are some unappealing high tops in the front; I always think it's a mistake to have to walk through the bar area to get to the dining room. This place is a collection of bad ideas.
I took a table in the back; there's no privacy anywhere in the restaurant. No separation from the bar. Nothing to filter the noise.
There's another room with rows of tables; no booths or comfortable seating. A TV for watching the Marlins games I guess.
The only comfortable seating in the restaurant is tucked in the corner. Of course this is where the employees sit, so even though I was the only customer in the restaurant, I couldn't sit there.
The lunch specials are pretty basic; no veal parm or anything other than basic parms and chicken in sauce. I went with the eggplant, because Eggplant Parm will tell me if they can make anything else.
Lunch specials include bread, and good olive oil; the bread wasn't very good but the oil was better than the usual table pomace most places put out.
The service station is in the middle of the restaurant; convenient for the servers, but my server was basically watching me as I ate my meal. Not very comfortable sitting in the middle of a big room.
Music is all over the place; from Andrea Bocelli to the Bee Gees to Dean Martin. I kid you not.
While I was waiting I used the men's room. The rear hallway is kind of interesting. They call it "Brooklyn".
The food came out pretty quickly. Not big on presentation here.
It's always a concern when eggplant is sliced crosswise. It doesn't really matter from a taste standpoint, but it's not how it's done by people in the know. Probably just an optical thing to make them look like veal or chicken, but a sign of amateurism.
A glob of sauce on the pasta is dumb and unwanted; one of the Umberto's signatures that make no sense. Nobody wants over-sauced pasta.
Only sawdust cheese available here. A clear sign that this is a pizzeria and not a real restaurant.
The first problem is a deal-breaker; the sauce is awful. Way too salty; it just ruined everything on the dish. Tomatoes and salt is not a recipe. Anything out of a jar is better than this. You never hear me complain about salt. Until today.
The menu says
Thin sliced and lightly breaded, marinara and mozzerella
If it was breaded, they sure didn't do it right. This eggplant was just mushy-mush.
The room is incredibly loud; just a couple of employees talking at the service station was deafening. This place must be an absolute disaster with a crowd. When you're the only customer and it's too loud, there's something very wrong.
I made it through the meal following every bite with a sip of iced tea to compensate for the salt. Did I mention that in 2000 reviews I almost never complain about too much salt?
Conclusion
When I first saw the menu for this place I thought "Finally a place not charging $20 for a chicken cutlet". Unfortunately it only appears to be a restaurant; it's really just a big pizzeria with a lot of tables and a bar. A kitchen sink menu; descriptions copied off other menus; without the ability to execute. Whoever made my lunch has no idea how to cook eggplant.
I hate just about everything about the restaurant; the uninviting entrance, the sea of tables and chairs, lack of booths and the big noisy room. It reminds me of the latin restaurants; big rooms filled with tables with no understanding of proper ambiance.
If this was a big, comfortable restaurant with outstanding food it could crush the mediocre restaurants in this area, but it's not any of those things. If you're going to open a big Italian restaurant next to Umbertos and Zuckerello's you'd better have a better idea. Umberto's has a MUCH better lunch menu, better food and it's less expensive.
I love places that say "Our famous White Clam Sauce", when they've been open a week and have no previous track record.