Critic's Review

So what does a seafood restaurant in South Beach have to do with Fort Lauderdale? Joe’s Stone Crab is one of those places like Peter Lugar’s or Carmines in New York where people will drive an hour to experience. Unlike Peter Lugar’s and Carmine’s where the food and experience are exceptional, Joe’s is just a tourist trap with very good if not exceptional food.

Joe’s doesn’t seem to fit into the South Beach Art Deco theme; its dark wood is more New York, or maybe old Miami. Its a handsome place; just not very South Beach.

Expensive, popular places that don’t take reservations irritate me. They’re greedy. They don’t want a table to be empty for one minute.

The way I describe the experience at Joe’s Stone Crab is its like being in an overcrowded amusement park where you can’t get onto any rides and have to spend the entire day just walking around. You can’t take anyone who is impatient here. No grandmothers or young children. The waits are intolerable. You can get a bar table a bit faster, but they don’t have the full menu at the bar. So you have to wait.

Is the food good? Yes, it is. Is it exceptional? I don’t think so. If you absolutely love their mustard sauce (you can’t improve on drawn butter if that’s your thing), then maybe its worthwhile. Without the wait, I’d say its definitely a place to go. With the wait, I’d say no. Its just too frustrating. You can wait for a massive platter of veal parm at Carmine’s, or for a thick, decendantly tasty steak at Peter Lugar’s, because they’re one of a kind. Stone crabs are stone crabs. You can get them somewhere else.

If you simply must try the food and you don’t want to wait, they’ve opened “Joe’s Take-away” next door. Many of the locals order take-away and eat on the beach nearby. The take-away is more modest, yet the prices are the same. So the expectation that you’re paying extra for service and taking up space in the dining room goes out the window with Joe’s: you pay the same whether you’re served or if you carry out in a bag.

Of course the other perspective is that service at Joe’s Stone Crab is free.