Critic's Review
H2O is one of those places that seems so nice compared to the other seedy places nearby. I've looked at the menu many times, but it just seems real expensive.
H2O is basically a patio in front of a condo that they've covered with a couple of tents. They have some faux marble tables and some nice wicker chairs outside. They also have a few tables inside, but there's rarely anyone there. People come here for the view.
There's no hostess in the morning, so for breakfast you just have to sit down and hope that someone sees you eventually. When a waiter finally came out I quickly got a menu and coffee, which they have available right on the patio. They push the "fresh squeezed orange juice" before you see the menu; beware that its $5.50. So you'd better really want it.
I ordered the "Farm Fresh Natural Eggs", which is basically 2 eggs with bacon, sausage, toast and potatos. Eggs over-easy. If you've read my reviews before, you know I usually order my eggs over easy. There's no choice of toast; or at least I wasn't given any. The food was ready way too quick, maybe 2 minutes, and at first glance I was just plain stunned.
As you can see the eggs are not prepared over-easy, and they were burned. They were obviously flash cooked in a too-hot pan, and maybe they put a cover on top for a few seconds. While you might expect this at some roadside breakfast shack, I certainly didn't expect it at what is supposed to be an upscale restaurant. The butter provided for the toast was rock hard frozen. After pondering it for a minute or 2, I decided that for $10. I couldn't eat these. My waiter was nowhere to be found, but I eventually flagged down another waiter, and I told him this verbatum: "These eggs are not over-easy and they're burned". No problem, he whisked them away and 2 minutes later my server returned with a new order of eggs.
As you can see the edges are again burned and these were also not prepared over-easy. I said "ok, I guess they don't know how to make eggs over-easy, but I'll take these". My server then explained that I should have ordered them over-medium, because they don't flip them if you order them over-easy. Ok, yeah right. This is my first time dining out.....
As for the rest of the meal, everything was "ok"; the bacon and sausage is obviously pre-cooked and then kept warm all morning. The coffee was pretty good and they have splenda. When I was about half way done, my server came out and filled my coffee and said that he was buying me coffee for the trouble. Ok, that's good, a $2.50 discount is always nice.
While this soothed me somewhat, it was the last time I saw my server. When I was done I waited a good 10 minutes before a manager came over (or some random dude with a suit on in 90 degree heat) and asked if I wanted more coffee. I told him I wanted my check so he took it himself.
A couple at the table next to me ordered South Beach Omelets and I noticed that they were more like frittatas than omelets, and they were very browned. What you have at this place is clear; the people in the kitchen have no idea what they're doing. When you burn someone's eggs, you make real sure not to burn the replacements. They don't even know how to cook over-easy eggs. And $11 for an omelet is too expensive for a place with a kitchen that doesn't know what they're doing.
Now maybe they have master chefs making lunch and dinner and some yahoos working in the morning; but I'm not coming here again to pay high prices for lunch and dinner. You, of course, can make your own call.