Critic's Review
Every time I pass this place I think about the fact that I'd never been inside, so a craving for a late breakfast convinced me that today would be the day; it's on my way to Publix. I'd been to the other IHOP (over at The Bend), and it was a pretty bad experience; at 3pm on a Saturday I figured the place would be pretty empty. And in fact it was; there were 2 other tables totally 3 people in the entire restaurant.
I knew I has having breakfast, so I ordered some coffee and started looking through the menu. I hadn't been to an iHOP in several years, so I wasn't to familiar with their latest menu gimmicks. As for the coffee, they have really small cups, but they give you a big pot so you can control how and when you get your refills, which is a good thing.
One thing I do know about the menu is that they're running a commercial touting that their omelets have pancake batter in them; which was a good reason not to order an omelet. There wasn't much else; I didn't want pancakes or french toast, so I just went with eggs and sausage and rye toast.
Service here is moribund. Every step my server took seems to be painful for her. Bad music by Jessie J and Pink inexplicably fills the air. The eggs took about 10 minutes.
So much for the big portion breakfast. 2 skinny sausages is pretty lame, even if the dish is only $6.99. The toast was delivered unbuttered with 2 jelly packets, and there was no butter on the table, which wouldn't do. I looked towards the kitchen area and saw nothing. The 2 servers had disappeared into their nooks. The "other" server made an appearance and I saw her notice that I was trying to get someone's attention, but she had no interest in serving me. She came out twice and didn't come over even though I clearly needed something. I didn't see my server for at least 5 minutes, so I had to get up and find here. I think it's the first time I had to get up from my table to get something in 3 years. When I found here, she gave me a pained look when I asked for butter. The good news is that she brought over a big container of nice, soft butter that allowed me to really load it up.
The eggs were steamed rather than over-easy, but they were fine. The sausages were very good; it's too bad they didn't give me 3 or 4; I don't like having to hoard sausage. But these hash browns are the best I can remember having; they have a buttery taste and they're seasoned just right.
My server silently dropped off the bill when I was half done; not once did she ask if everything was OK or if I needed something.
I used to really enjoy going to iHOP when I was a younger man; it was a much better restaurant back then. The food is better than Denny's, but the abysmal service and measly sausages will likely keep me from coming here again.